ersatz
from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition.
adjective: Being a usually inferior imitation or substitute; artificial.
adjective: Not genuine; fake.
Grocery store brand products have a bad reputation. Off-brand ketchup and mustard are acceptable. Bargain-brand mayo and (lately in my experience) toilet paper are dubious.
Tetley British Blend—a decent tea blend and household staple of mine—was missing from the shelf on a recent trip to Kroger. A quick scan of the shelves at or just below eye level revealed a couple of acceptable alternatives: Tazo Awake English Breakfast (kind of expensive for what it is) and Bigelow English Breakfast (kind of weak).
I glanced down to the bottom shelf and noticed a package of Kroger British Blend tea for cents less than its name-brand counterpart. The box was similar in shape and size to that of the Tetley British Blend package but much less attractive with its Halloween-like color palette.
Opening the box revealed two foil-wrapped columns of 40 tea bags each, just like Tetley. The tea bags were round, also just like Tetley.
Based on the look and aroma of the tea bags alone, I concluded Kroger British Blend was in fact manufactured by Tetley. Somebody has to make it for them, and it’s not a Kroger master tea blender—donned in a white lab coat with the Kroger emblem on it—who tastes all varieties of black tea until the blend reaches parity with another product.
My conclusion was supported by a taste test. I’m 99% certain Tetley manufactures Kroger British Blend tea. If I’m wrong, please let me know in the comment section.
Video Transcript
Today we’re going to talk grocery store tea.
Specifically, Kroger British Blend black tea versus Tetley British Blend black tea.
Are they the same?
Are they not?
What’s going on here?
First, let’s take a look at the packaging.
80 tea bags.
80 tea bags.
The packaging is virtually the same…
shape and size.
If you open it up, you’ll see two foil packs each with 40 tea bags.
It looks the same to me.
I mean, someone has to make this stuff, right?
Let’s look at the tea bags too.
Tetley British Blend
[Narrator places Tetley British Blend tea bag upright next to the box it came from]
Kroger British Blend
[Narrator leans Kroger British Blend tea bag upright against the box it came from]
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Let’s really put it to the test.
Let’s brew a cup of Tetley British Blend and a cup of Kroger British Blend and see what we have here.
Are they the same?
Are they not?
Does anyone really care?
It doesn’t matter. I’m doing the video anyways.
I’ll be back once the tea is brewed.
[Intermission] Narrator sings, “oh-oh-oh, the tea is brewing” to Roger Waters’ “The Tide is Turning.”
Okay. Boiling water, three minutes, and a splash of milk later…
Here we go.
Actually, I don’t know if can tip these over without spilling.
Eh, there we go.
All right. Are they the same?
The taste test.
Tetley British Blend tastes like Tetley British Blend.
Kroger British Blend tastes like Kroger British Blend, which also tastes like Tetley British Blend.
I’m going to say…
these two teas are the same.
I can’t imagine someone would make this special for Kroger other than Tetley.
I think they’re the same. That’s my verdict.
And now I have two cups of tea to drink.
I want to thank you for hanging out with me, and I’ll see you in the next video.
I believe you are correct. I did the same test.